Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, Teresa Travels to Metropolis to Meet Lex Luthor

I'm always a day late and a dollar short so it's no surprise that I didn't start watching SMALLVILLE until this season. Tom Welling, who plays the young Clark Kent, is VERY easy on the eyes with his pouty lips, baby blues, and flawlessly feathered hair, but I was caught off guard to find myself falling under the spell of big, bad, bald Lex Luthor. (Lucky Lana Lang gets to kiss them BOTH!) Apparently I'm not the only one to fall for this penultimate bad boy with his mesmerizing mix of ambition, vulnerability and serious Daddy issues. In several online communities, he's known simply as "Sexy Lexy." And besides, what's not to love?

1) He's an evil genius
2) He's a multi-billionaire
3) He lives in a totally rad castle/mansion that screams for a woman's loving touch almost as badly as he does
4) He drives a bitchin' sports car
5) He looks wonderful in a smirk AND sweeping around in one those long, black leather "bad boy" dusters
Every year on the second weekend in June, my husband and I make our annual pilgrimage to Metropolis, Illinois for SUPERMAN DAY so you can imagine my delight (and my giddy girlish squeal) when I discovered that actor Michael Rosenbaum (SMALLVILLE's Lex Luthor himself!) would be one of the guests of honor this year.

As we waited in the autograph line for over an hour for our first sighting of him, I quickly discovered from the 3 giggling girls in front of me and the two somber-faced boys behind me that the girls were thrilled because it had been reported that he "had hair" while the boys were disappointed that he wasn't sporting his trademark "chrome dome."

I'm happy to report that he was absolutely delightful, funny, and incredibly good-natured, especially considering that they'd placed him outside under a tent in the 150 degree heat. (He also did some VERY nice things for a worn t-shirt and tight jeans.) My favorite moment came during the Q&A session when a girl stood up and asked him, "So is it a terrible burden to be so incredibly hot?" He laughed and said, "Well, it's hard to consider yourself hot when you have to get up and look at Tom Welling every morning. But every now and then, I think I might be a little cute."

They were trying to get so many people through the line that they weren't allowing pics WITH him, but my husband snapped the one below as I was gleefully skulking off with my autographed poster.

Teresa Discovers the Dog Whisperer

We do a lot of talking about Alpha vs. Beta males in the romance world. But how was I to know that the ultimate Alpha male was a short, mild-mannered, soft-spoken Mexican man named Cesar Milan?

I'd seen his dog-training book, CESAR'S WAY, on the bestseller lists but I truly got hooked on Cesar less than two weeks ago when I started TIVO'ing the show THE DOG WHISPERER on the National Geographic Channel. Little did I know that THE DOG WHISPERER came on like 75 times a day so before I knew it I had a healthy backlog of episodes and had seen Cesar cure nearly every dog lover's nightmare from fear biting to separation anxiety to a bulldog with an uncontrollable passion for the garden hose.

His philosophy is simple. To learn how to train a dog, you have to learn how to think like a dog and behave like a dog. There is virtually no canine problem that can't be solved with a "calm assertive" attitude. The minute he enters a room, he becomes the "pack leader" and there's something oddly attractive about that, even in a short, mild-mannered, soft-spoken man. If you add his Beta love of dogs, you have a real hero in the making!

It also occurred to me that many of his lessons can be applied to life:

1) If you walk with your head up and your shoulders back, people will believe you're a powerful woman
2) You can't help someone by feeling sorry for them
3) What's in the past doesn't matter because it's not what's happening now
4) You have to stop agressive behavior at a lower level before it gets into the "Red Zone"
5) You can accomplish almost anything with calm assertive energy
6) Leadership has to come before love, but yet is also a form of love
7) The only way to be truly fulfilled is to know your natural order in life
8) Every home needs an Alpha dog, preferably a human

Teresa Tweaks the Beast's Tale (Um...Tail)

If you want to start an argument between two romance authors, just ask them, "Do you think it's possible to educate the uninformed (and frequently snotty) masses about the charms and benefits of reading romance?" Even within our ranks, there are two distinct opinions that will often result in loud, bombastic "discussions" and the occasional hair pulling:

Opinion #1) We adore our devoted readers, appreciate generating $1.2 billion in sales for the publishing industry and accounting for 54.9% of all paperback sales per year and don't give a rat's patootie about anybody else so nanny nanny boo boo, take that you "lit'rary loving" pseudo-intellectuals!

Opinion #2) We adore our devoted readers, appreciate generating $1.2 billion in sales for the publishing industry and accounting for 54.9% of all paperback sales per year, but believe that there are even more readers out there who would appreciate a romance if they could only be coaxed (or coerced) into reading one.

I tend to fall into the second school of thought for one simple reason--I've received so many fan letters and e-mails over the years that said, "I'd never read a romance until I read [Insert your favorite Teresa Medeiros title here] and I absolutely loved it!" And do you know what happens when they love a Teresa Medeiros book? Well, hopefully they read other Teresa Medeiros books, but since those are in limited supply, it gives me a chance to recommend other similar books. The next thing you know, they've shaken off their prejudices and immersed themselves in the wonderful and uplifting culture of the romance novel.

As I see it, our challenge as authors, booksellers, librarians, and fellow booklovers, is not to convince the media or the diehard cynics and snobs, but to get the books into the hands of those who would appreciate a wonderfully written romance, but just don't know it yet. And the best advice I can give you is to…be sneaky. Don't mention the word romance. Just tell them it's a great book and you think they'd enjoy it. The expansion of romance into hardcover has made this even easier to do because many readers still don't associate hardcovers with the romance genre.

In the past I've eased them into the genre by introducing them to romance authors who have branched out into other venues such as suspense, legal thrillers, or women's fiction—authors like Kristin Hannah, Jill Barnett, Tori Carrington, Tami Hoag, Jayne Ann Krentz, Elizabeth Lowell, Tess Gerritsen, Patricia Gaffney, Iris Johansen, Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jennifer Crusie, and Judith McNaught, just to name a few. If they love one book by these authors, they'll probably be willing to come back and check out their backlist. Once you have them hooked, you can suggest another author with a similar style. That's when you'll start hearing comments like, "Can you believe I found this in the romance section?" And "Wow! I didn't know these books actually had a plot!"

As far as I'm concerned, YOU, Beloved Reader, are on the frontlines of this battle. Your "word of mouth" recommendation has far more power to sway personal and cultural opinion than my latest website update or newsletter.

Teresa Enrolls in THE BOYFRIEND SCHOOL

If you haven't read Sarah Bird's classic romance THE BOYFRIEND SCHOOL, you probably should. It's one of my favorite contemporary romances of all-time. Originally published in 1989, the book is about Gretchen Griner, an underpaid photographer sent to cover a "Romantic Times-like" conference in Austin, complete with cover models and authors dressed in full Southern belle regalia. There she meets bestselling romance author Lizzie Potts (known as Viveca Lamoureaux to her adoring readers) and romantic chaos ensues as the well-meaning Lizzie decides to fix the cynical Gretchen up with her brother Gus by making him over as the ultimate romance hero.

One of my readers recently let me know the movie version of THE BOYFRIEND SCHOOL (originally titled DON'T TELL HER IT'S ME) had just been released on DVD. While not quite as good as the book, it really is pretty adorable. And it will make you say four words you never thought you would-- "Steve Guttenberg is HOT!" When Gretchen (renamed Emily for the movie) first meets Gus, he is recovering from cancer treatments and is boring, bald and bloated. But the quirky Lizzie (played by Shelley Long before anyone realized she wasn't going to be a big movie star) quickly makes him over into "Lobo," a mysterious Harley-straddling hero with a stubbled jaw and a really fine mullet. If you enjoy a romantic comedy that's romantic, funny and touching. I think you'll love this one! (And did I mention that Steve Guttenberg was really HOT?)

Teresa Dishes on Cover Models She Has Known (and Occasionally Loved)

I really should confess that I've never been a big fan of "cover model pageants" where studly young models strut their stuff in loin cloths with biceps flexing, taut ab muscles rippling, a teasing smirk playing around their flawlessly sculpted lips...oh, wait...where was I and why have I never been a fan of these pageants? Oh, yeah--dignity! That's right. I think it's an insult to their dignity to be paraded in front of a crowd of leering, hooting women like so much prime beefcake on an auction block, their well-defined muscles glistening with sweat, their eyes twinkling with a come-hither look, their broad shoulders...oh, sorry...lost my train of thought again!

What I meant to say was that cover models deserve our respect (and their dignity) because they're an essential part of the romance genre. They serve as "placeholders" for the heroes in our books. They may not be an exact representation of the image the reader will eventually hold in the eye of her imagination but they do act as a starting (and a selling) point.

Several models in the genre have been talented and prolific enough to develop name recognition. John DeSalvo, Steve Sandalis (the Topaz man), Cherif Fortin (you can find him on the exquisite piece of pre-Raphaelite art on the original stepback for my book CHARMING THE PRINCE) and of course the legendary Fabio, who has been clever enough (despite that unfortunate goose incident on the roller coaster) to parlay his 15 minutes of fame into 15 years. HEATHER AND VELVET, my very first book for Bantam in 1992, was one of the last romance covers Fabio posed for before retiring from modeling to pen (cough, cough) his own romances. I've even had the pleasure of crossing paths with a few of these models. Here I am above with Guy Davis (who appeared on several Katherine Sutcliffe covers) way back in 1990. (In case you couldn't tell, I'm the one with the big hair and the very small dress.)

I was recently introduced to a hot new name in the business when I received the preliminary cover art for my upcoming October release THE VAMPIRE WHO LOVED ME. We hear so many horror stories about authors getting covers with heroes who look like Howdy Doody or Elvis or who have the wrong hair or eye color. Who can forget Suzanne Brockman's legendary "Pillsbury Doughboy" cover for GET LUCKY? She had to send out smiley face stickers so her readers could cover up his face! (And I'm sure this wasn't a commentary on the cover model, but on the artist.) So you can imagine my delight when I received this in the mail:

The devilishly talented art department at Avon had managed to find a cover model who was not only gorgeous, but the perfect embodiment of Julian Kane, my sweetly sardonic vampire hero. Since I'm usually running a little behind (cough, cough), I was actually writing the first love scene of the novel when the artwork arrived. I immediately tacked it up over my computer and found it to be VERY inspiring indeed!

Turns out the cover model is none other than Nathan Kamp, a fast rising star who has also done a guest stint on my favorite soap GUIDING LIGHT. He's appeared on several recent books from authors Sherrilyn Kenyon/Kinley MacGregor, Susan Sizemore, Karen Hawkins, Karen Marie Moning and a host of others. You would probably be shocked if you realized just exactly how many covers you've probably seen him on because he has the most essential gift of any cover model--the ability to transform himself into any number of heroes without losing his own identity OR being overexposed.

Although I would certainly never want Nathan to compromise his dignity by strutting across some stage in a loin cloth in front of a crowd of hooting, leering women, I would like to leave you with a couple of pictures so you can admire him as a human being. Purely in a spiritual, entirely platonic, aesthetic sense of course ;)

Teresa's Book Reviews: Marley and Me

The one moral to this story is that you should always listen to Connie Brockway. (As much as it pains me to admit it!) She warned me that if I read this book, I would be crying for WEEKS. Then my Uncle Buddy, a 6' 2" bastion of male machismo confessed that he had bawled like a baby when reading the end of the book. But I thought, "Hey, I watch ER every week! I'm tough! I can handle this!"

So I picked up the book and started crying during the PREFACE. Okay, I'm lying, I actually started sniveling when I was looking at the puppy pictures of Marley on the inside front cover. Perhaps Kevin Bacon said it best in MY DOG SKIP--"A dog is just a heartbreak waiting to happen." Until they invent dogs with the 90-year life spans of parrots, we all know there can be only one ending to a great dog story. And MARLEY AND ME is truly a great dog story.

But MARLEY AND ME won't just make you cry. It will make you smile and it will make you laugh out loud and it will make you wonder why you didn't think to write a book about your ill-behaved monster of a dog so you could warm the cockles of America and make a bazillion dollars. It will also make you remember all of those fine dogs who have blessed your own life through the years. Those with spirits so sweet they seemed almost human and those who ate your throw rugs, swallowed your diamond necklace, and dragged your Tampax out of the garbage for the neighbors to see.

MARLEY AND ME is more than a story about a dog. It's a story about the young marriage of John and Jenny and the changes they go through as they add not only Marley, but three precious children to their lives. John Grogan is a columnist and former editor of Rodale's ORGANIC GARDENING magazine. His prose is fine and spare and made me reluctant to put the book down. I read it in two lazy Saturday and Sunday afternoons and yes, I read the ending with a box of Kleenex sitting on my chest and Connie's number on my speed dial.

The true moral of Marley's story is that there is something fine and beautiful about loving something (and someone) who is imperfect. That perhaps more joy and delight can be found in embracing someone's flaws than in trying to "fix" them. And if nothing else, reading about Marley--a dog who was diagnosed as certifiably insane even by doggie standards--may make you appreciate your own dog (or especially your cat!) even more.

Can You Tell Which One is Teresa?

Okay, I know some of you were a trifle bit skeptical when I admitted that I had a giant pink pig who helped me block out my love scenes so I thought it was time to introduce you to Petunia.

Petunia once belonged to my roommate in nursing school. She was getting ready to take a one way trip to the city dump when--unable to bear the thought of her rooting through the garbage with her delicate little snout--I intervened. (Look at that face! Could YOU have let her go to the dump?) Despite my husband's insistence that she's old enough to manage on her own, she still lives in the bonus room over our garage.

She used to earn her keep by tussling with my nieces and nephews when they were little, but now I call upon her for a much more important duty. If I'm writing a scene where my hero and heroine are facing each other, about to embrace, I use her to figure out exactly where his snout...um...I mean his nose...and his (paw? hoof?) would be. We also share the occasional waltz.

You'll notice that Petunia looks better than I do in this pic because she freshened up her mascara and I didn't. She never could resist a photo op!

Kiefer Sutherland: From Bad Boy to Good Man in Only 24 Hours

What can I say? I never could resist a man who can make a kill shot to the head with 100% accuracy. I came late to 24. Last year my minister's wife loaned me the entire first season on DVD and insisted that I watch it. Still feeling the keen absence of former favorites like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Farscape, I slipped the first disc into my DVD player and immediately found myself immersed in the dark and dangerous world of CTU (Counter-Terrorist Unit) and its resident knight in tarnished armor Jack Bauer. After only a few addictive episodes, I also made an alarming discovery—I was hot for Kiefer!


That's right. The same baby-faced, sandy-haired Kiefer I had always scorned for taking men's roles like Doc Spurlock in Young Guns and Athos in The Three Musketeers and turning them into boys. His chilling turns as villains in several movies hadn't really endeared him to me either. But as I watched one episode after another of 24, his beard-stubbled cheeks and that tender petulant mouth of his began to look imminently more kissable. A scene from last week's episode where he was forced to interrogate the woman he loves, then took a taser blast to try to protect her because he believed she was innocent nearly made me swoon in the best romance novel tradition!

Quite simply, Jack Bauer is a man who does what needs to be done, however brutal, to get the job done. The cavewoman in me who still secretly longs for a man to protect me, feed me, and give me strong children responds to this on the most primal level. But the lovely thing about Jack is that he also maintains enough heart and humanity to resist a direct order from the president if that order will result in the death of innocent women and children. In the course of the last five seasons, he's risen above incalculable personal losses with unimaginable grace.

24 delivers a walloping dollop of edge-of-your-couch-cushion suspense but story never overshadows characterization and emotion. To me, that's what separates a Lord of the Rings from the latest sterile and heartless installment of Star Wars.

In our books, we constantly deal with flawed, complex men who are transformed into heroes. Jack Bauer is such a hero--constantly challenging himself, constantly evolving and always able to make the kill shot. He can interrogate me any day!

Teresa's Book Reviews: Rebel Angels

Do you ever feel as if you were destined to read a certain book? I originally spotted Libba Bray's first book A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY on the "New in Hardcover" shelf at my local Borders. I immediately thought, "What a gorgeous romance cover!" I thumbed through the book only to discover that it wasn't a romance at all but a Victorian historical set at an English girl's boarding school. Although I was intrigued, I put the book back on the shelf.

Then at the Dallas RWA conference a few weeks later, I was signing books with fellow Avon author Cathy Maxwell when she started telling me about this amazing YA (Young Adult) book she'd just read. "You have to read it," she told me. "It's like Harry Potter for girls!" Swayed by her enthusiasm, I followed her to the YA section of the bookstore only to discover she was talking about the very book I'd spotted at Borders. I had no idea it was even being marketed as Young Adult fiction!

Not one to resist the seductive kiss of fate twice, I came home with a shiny new hardcover in my suitcase. And boy am I glad I did! A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY is a wonderful balm for the soul of the reader who is always lamenting, "There's nothing fresh out there to read!" It's a deliciously dark Gothic Victorian historical paranormal with a tasty sprinkling of romance. Think of it as THE SECRET GARDEN and A LITTLE PRINCESS on acid.

The book opens in India in 1895 when 16-year-old Gemma Doyle witnesses the tragic and mysterious death of her mother. Her opium-addicted father quickly packs her off to Spence, one of those oh-so-proper British boarding schools that are secretly seething with all of the passion, drama and intrigue that only adolescent girls can create. The headstrong Gemma is quickly befriended by shy, impoverished Ann, ambitious Felicity, and beautiful Pippa, whose desire for a handsome prince to spirit her away risks leading them all to disaster. Gemma also discovers that she is the sole key to opening a magical alternate universe called "The Realms" and that her fate is inextricably entwined with her mother's. The only thing the book lacks is a handsome, sexy, mysterious Gypsy lad who could turn out to be either Gemma's protector or her mortal enemy. Oh, wait—the book has that too!

I'm delighted to report that the second book in the series, REBEL ANGELS, is just as good if not even better than the first book. In ANGELS, Bray moves the action to the city for the Christmas holiday. Her writing is gorgeous and crisp and she brings Victorian London to such vivid life that I could almost smell the soot in the air and feel the warm glow of the gaslights on my skin.

I read somewhere that the corset on the cover of the first book was meant to symbolize the repression of women and young girls in the Victorian Era. Gemma is a very strong character—smart, headstrong, passionate—and you sense that her adventures, however fantastical and dangerous, may eventually lead her to the intellectual and spiritual freedom that all women crave.

If you've ever wondered how the world would be different if J.K. Rowling had penned HARRIET POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE, I definitely recommend these books. I would have loved them when I was fourteen and I love them now! Since A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY hit the New York Times bestseller list--an amazing feat for a first novel--I must not be the only one. The books are written in first person and present tense, which only adds to the immediacy of the story. Ms. Bray is planning one more book in this series.

I'm thrilled that Libba has agreed to pop in with her own blog later today! We're also going to be giving away a set of both hardcovers to one of our lucky random Commenters. (You're eligible no matter which of today's blogs you Comment under.)

Teresa Shares Her Secret to Success

I've always believed one of the primary functions of a blog is to humiliate yourself publicly. I'm here to prove that today by sharing my very first query letter with you. For those of you not familiar with the lingo, a query letter is the letter you send to a publisher or agent asking them if they'd like to look at (and hopefully buy and publish) your book. As you will see, this is the worst query letter in the history of query letters--a veritable treasure trove of "Whatever you do, don't do this!" I'm including my editorial comments in red and in parentheses.

May 29, 1985

Dear (Editor Who is No Longer Employed By This Company),

I frantically searched my bookshelves one evening for the romance novel that I wanted to read. I didn't find it. (Because you and the other dimwits at your publishing house obviously aren't publishing anything worth reading.) Reading "The Flame and the Flower" (which was published 13 years ago, clearly demonstrating that I've kept up with current trends) for the fifth time reeked of redundancy (gotta love that alliteration! And look-I know big words!)

What did I want to read about? I wanted to read about a heroine with guts; a noble hero with fascinating flaws; a passionate love-hate relationship that grows with time; interesting sattelite (sattelite? Um, you wouldn't mean "secondary" by any chance?) characters; humor; enough tragedy to keep the good times looking good. (I also know how to use semi-colons, although not particularly well!) I wanted adventure and fantasy and intrigue.

And thus was born "Loving Vengeance." (Thank heavens it wasn't spawned!) I am submitting it to you for publication (or to use as a booster seat for your kid). It is a historical romance set in ancient Ireland. (Because that's a really popular setting!)

I look forward to hearing your reaction. (As opposed to shuddering.)

Sincerely,

T.H. Medeiros (because I'm incredibly pretentious and aspiring to be the next T.H. White)

I have shared this letter today not just to humiliate myself or to amuse you, but to give you hope. If an idiot like this can sell a book and get published and go on to have a successful career that has now spanned almost twenty years, so can you!

Teresa Celebrates Women in All Sizes and Guises

I don't know about you but these are two of my favorite sentences from a romance novel:

1) She was soft and yielding in all of the places he was hard.
2) He tenderly ran his hand over the gentle swell of her belly.

Now the latter would imply that our lovely heroine, paragon of feminine beauty that she is, actually HAS a belly. I'm a big believer in the scientific fact that women are genetically predisposed to store fat in certain areas of their bodies. (Especially in the winter when a package of Oreos may be all that stands between us and the horrors of famine.)

I also happen to know that men are genetically predisposed to look for good breeders. (That means hips large enough to pass a good-sized hobbit through the birth canal.) Before he asked me out, my future husband was busted by a fellow classmate for checking out the junk in my own proverbial trunk as I walked (strutted) across the room in front of him.

So why does society keep telling us we should aspire to look like this?

That's right. That's Teri Hatcher and Lara Flynn Boyle, just two of the Hollywood actresses who seem to be vanishing right before our eyes. Lara Flynn Boyle is so skinny she recently ended a guest stint on LAS VEGAS by (are you ready for this?) BLOWING OFF OF A ROOF!

The standard of female beauty in the Renaissance was typified by the Rubens painting above. But you only have to travel back to the 1960's and watch any James Bond film to see how our standards (and our actresses) have shrank in the past 40 years. The women in those movies were considered some of the most beautiful of their day. They looked glowing and healthy. They had thighs and (oh, miracle of miracles!) they even had bellies and they weren't afraid to show off their bellies in their snappy little bathing suits. They were much more likely to push someone off a roof than blow off a roof.

So how do we combat this ridiculous and unhealthy ideal? Can we just quote Sir Mix-A-Lot's BABY GOT BACK--"Cosmo says you're fat. Well, I ain't down with that!" Personally, I love the solution put forth by inspirational author Liz Curtis Higgs, who calls herself a "big, beautiful woman living in a nervous, narrow world." Liz suggests that we stand in front of the mirror every morning (with or without clothes), spread our arms wide and proclaim, "Blessed am I among women to live in such a beautiful temple!" That way, even if you feel you need to lose weight and get more fit, you can still love yourself while you're doing it.

One of my dear friends who has struggled to gain weight all of her life assures me that being too skinny is just as great a social problem as being too heavy. As she described to me the terrible ordeal of being forced to drink 3 chocolate milkshakes a day, I did the only thing I could.

I pushed her off the roof.

Teresa Sings, "Once More with Feeling"

I am a total soundtrack geek and the one soundtrack that rarely leaves my CD player is BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. When the legendary musical episode of BUFFY aired, we discovered that not only was Joss Whedon a literary genius who has given us some of the smartest TV ever, he was also capable of whipping up the music and lyrics of an entire Broadway show in his spare time. We also learned that James Marsters (as Spike--the leather-clad vampire I'd most like to sink my teeth into) could sing in an English accent.

Who needs Sarah Brightman when you can have Sarah Michelle Gellar? The soundtrack is actually more effective because Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn't attempt to trill any arias, but still sounds like Buffy when she sings. (It also makes it really easy to sing along in your car.) The songs range from winsome and wistful to laugh-out-loud witty and Whedon uses the music to advance the storyline by bringing several ongoing plots to their stunning climaxes. The songs are rife with revelations that make it clear that nothing will ever be the same.

In GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS, Buffy explores the loss of passion she's experienced since um...dying for the second time a few months before. In the standout number UNDER YOUR SPELL, Amber Benson as Tara, waxes poetic over her budding love for Willow. In I'LL NEVER TELL (which featured a terrific dance number in the episode), Xander and Anya experience the cold feet common to any young studly construction worker about to marry a former vengeance demon. In REST IN PEACE, the lovelorn Spike begs Buffy to just let him rest in peace if she won't confess her growing desire for him. During the appropriately titled WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE, the music swells and we sigh wistfully as we remember Spike and Buffy sharing their very first kiss in true Hollywood fashion before the credits rolled.

Because of the complexity of the continuing storylines, I don't know if this could ever be turned into a real Hollywood musical, but I sure would like to see Whedon try.

Teresa Picks Out Her Favorite Chick Flicks

I'm a chick, right? I'm supposed to love nothing better than dragging my significant other to the movies on a Friday night to see the latest "women's weeper" with a box of Goobers and a packet of Kleenex stuffed in my purse. So why do some of these movies make me want to weep for the wrong reason?

I only made two rules for this list—no Jane Austen adaptations and no animated Disney movies allowed because they could obviously hog up all the positive slots. Oh, and I attempted to alleviate all of that melodrama with a few comedies!

CHICK FLICKS I HATE

BEACHES – Despite my fondness for both Bette Midler and "Wind Beneath My Wings", at one point I actually found myself yelling at Barbara Hershey and her collagen-inflated lips. "Die! Please, won't you just die already!" Trust me—her endless suffering was NOTHING compared to mine.

THE NOTEBOOK – My parents have one of those eternal love stories just like the couple in this movie and my mom is in a nursing home. So maybe this one just stepped on the wrong toes for me. Although I thought Ryan Gosling was adorable, I just didn't feel any real sense of the two of them really falling in love. I felt like I was told they fell in love more than seeing the relationship building through action or witty banter.

GHOST – I'm probably stepping on some toes by picking this Patrick Swayze classic but I've always found Demi Moore to be so utterly humorless that I can't take her seriously. But she does cry divinely! No woman has ever looked so beautiful with tears trickling gracefully down her cheeks.

DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD – I liked Sandra Bullock just fine as always but I just didn't understand why her mother's character was supposed to be so high strung and annoying. They hinted at mental illness but never really followed through on it. She had a perfectly nice husband. Get over it, already!

MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING – What a depressing comedy! Julia Roberts is a selfish, obnoxious twit who doesn't even get the guy in the end!

CHICK FLICKS I LOVE

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT – I've always found this movie just quirky and weird enough to feel like real life. It really captures the complicated mother/daughter dynamic and it also has the best death scene I've ever watched. The camera never flinches and you can actually see the life fade from Debra Winger's eyes.

EVER AFTER – The prince is cute and Drew Barrymore rescues herself from the bad guy at the end. Enuf said!

BRIDGET JONES' DIARY – Rene Zellwegger channels this hilarious heroine beautifully. And Colin Firth and Hugh Grant in the same movie? What's not to love?

LOVE STORY – This is the original two hankie weeper. It has the most gorgeous music and the best looking dying person you'll ever find. I've never forgotten the scene where they frolic in the snow together or that dramatic moment when she simply announces, "It's time to go to the hospital." I spent months wishing I had a terminal disease after seeing this as a kid.

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY – They call this British movie the "thinking person's GHOST" and I absolutely agree. Alan Rickman is divine as "Jamie" and he makes even the bittersweet ending go down easy.

Teresa Gets Shot Through the Heart by Bon Jovi

If Jon Bon Jovi can please a woman half as well as he can please a crowd, we have another candidate for SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. I had the delicious pleasure of seeing Bon Jovi in concert on Valentine's Day and with all the surprises he and the band had in store for us, it felt more like Christmas morning.

First the lights began to dim and the crowd began to applaud and scream as they gazed at the darkened stage, their anticipation palpable. Suddenly a roar went up from the back of the arena. I turn to discover that Jon has magically appeared on a platform right in front of me, giving the poor devils in the cheap seats the thrill of their lives. (And an incredible view of his adorable backside.) During another section of the concert, he vanished again only to materialize right AMONG the seats on the other side of the arena where he performed a melting rendition of MY FUNNY VALENTINE before walking all the way back to the stage, grasping hands and making women swoon along the way.

And did I mention there was music, too? Music with infectious hooks, driving rock rhythms, and lyrics soulful and romantic enough to have been penned by a romance novelist. (You haven't lived until you've heard 20,000 people singing, "Shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give love a bad name!" in perfect unison.) The audience got another surprise thrill when Jennifer Nettles, the lead singer of Sugarland joined the band on stage to perform their rock/country crossover hit "Who Says You Can't Go Home." (One of the advantages to seeing a concert in Nashville is that you never know who will show up!) Oh yeah, and there were other band members too--Tico Torres, David Bryan, and Richie Sambora, recently estranged from Heather Locklear. When Richie and Jon shared the microphone to croon "I'll Be There For You" to each other, you just knew that Richie would survive losing Heather as long as he had Jon by his side.

Jon remains eerily ageless, even looking younger than he did in the big hair era of the 80's. (Vampire anyone?) When he looked over his shoulder, his lips slowly curving into that sexy and boyishly disarming grin, a collective sigh went up from the crowd and you just knew that every woman in the arena from 19-90 was aching to throw her panties on the stage. It somehow only adds to his appeal that he's been married for 17 years and has 4 kids.

Bon Jovi remains on the very short list of artists I'd pay $100 to see because they're master showmen who make sure you get every penny of your money's worth.

Teresa Flirts with Disaster

He leaned across the table toward me, his dark blue eyes sparkling with a come-hither look. With his bad boy grin and lightly tousled hair, I couldn't help but want to take him into my arms. He reached across the table, closing the space between us.

"You're SO pretty," he whispered, gently stroking my hair.

Before I could respond, his mom snatched him up into her arms and snapped, "Don't mind him. He's a terrible flirt and he just loves blondes."

I grinned as she carried the four-year-old across the crowded Pizza Hut. He hung over her shoulder, waving wistfully and still casting me longing glances. So it's true, I thought. Some men really are born flirts!

I once worked with just such a guy. Based on his numerous and well-documented affairs of the heart, you would have expected him to be a combination of George Clooney and Brad Pitt, with a little Keanu thrown in to spice the mix. Instead he was a stocky, rather ordinary looking fellow with a receding hairline, a slight paunch, and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. I just couldn't figure out what it was about him that made perfectly rational women abandon both their morals and their marriages.

Then during one slow night on the ward, he offered to teach me how to play Chinese checkers. Since he wasn't exactly inviting me up to his place to see his etchings, I decided I'd be safe.

That's when I learned his secret. He treated me with perfect respect. (I was HIS supervisor, after all). There wasn't even a hint of inappropriate innuendo, no casual touches or suggestive winks. BUT his focus on me was absolute. During those magic moments, it was as if I was the only woman—perhaps the only human being—on the entire planet.

Ah ha! That was it, I realized! That was how he convinced women to tug off both their panties and their wedding rings! (Not to worry. I was in no danger of doing either.) But I did feel as if I'd spent an hour in the company of a master flirt. He'd reminded me that women are absolute suckers for attention because let's face it—we deserve so much more of it than we ever get.

So the next time that cute guy at the theater concession stand gives you an extra squirt of butter on your popcorn or a handsome businessman offers to help you heft your luggage into the overhead bin, it's okay to feel warm and tingly. Just keep your panties—and your wedding ring—on until you get home!

Teresa's Shameful Little Secret

There is no greater thrill for an author than finishing a book. Publishing a book doesn't compare. Winning an award doesn't compare. Not even cashing a nice fat royalty check can compare. (Although my husband might disagree!) When I type those magical words THE END, choirs of angels burst into the Hallelulah Chorus and for a few magical days, food tastes better, music sounds sweeter and all is right with the world.

BUT that doesn't explain why only one day after I finished my latest book I found myself in a sobbing heap on the bed. Now I will confess that I was both physically and mentally exhausted. I hadn't had a day off in at least a month. I'd been waking up between 4 .m. and 5 a.m. every morning with my mind brimming over with fresh ideas for new scenes. Plus I knew I only had one day after finishing the book to pack and prepare for a writer's conference in Cocoa Beach. If I'd have been Lindsey Lohan or Mariah Carey, my "manager" would have probably carted me off to some nice hospital with a swimming pool and tennis courts and had me admitted for "exhaustion." Because after surviving an entire month of the most grueling sort of deadline and actually accomplishing what I set out to do, I finally cracked.

My poor husband walks in and says, "What's wrong, honey?" Blinded by tears, I gazed up at him through swollen eyes and wailed, "MY BOOK IS O-O-O-OVER! I MISS PORTIA AND J-J-J-JULIAN SO-O-O-O-O MUCH!!!" Now if I were my husband (or any of the other Squawkers) and had been forced to listen to me whine and complain nearly every day for the past 8 months about how desperate I was to finish this book, I would have carted me off to some nice hospital with time-out rooms and a healthy stock of Thorazine. I have to tell you that I had NO idea that shocking thought was lurking in my subconscious until I blurted it out, but it definitely backs up a theory I have about writing.

Books are hard to finish (nearly impossible!) because subconsciously writers don't want to finish them. Although consciously our most overwhelming desire is to be done with it, secretly we feel exactly like a reader feels when they say, "Oh, I didn't want that book to end! I wish it could have gone on forever!" With I finished the book, my life began anew, but the lives of my beloved characters ended.

Readers often ask me if I re-read my books after they're finished. And this is the precise reason I usually don't. When I'm writing a book, it's as if I'm actually living the story right along with my hero and heroine. I feel their every emotion, fall madly and passionately in love, and their memories become my own. If I try to re-read one of my stories, it's as if I'm looking at a photo of a high school sweetheart I'll never see again and it makes my heart ache.

But I've decided there's only one cure for the post-book blues--start another book! Then there will be other lives to live, more memories to make, and the chance to fall madly and passionately in love all over again.

Ten Signs Teresa Has Finished a Book

1) She's wearing her "I FINISHED A BOOK TODAY, WHAT DID YOU DO?" t-shirt even though it's February and 20 degrees outside

2) Her editor and agent burst into a spontaneous rendition of the "Hallelulah Chorus", accompanied by a choir of celestial angels

3) There's no more microwavable ravioli in the pantry

4) Her pants don't fit anymore and she can't figure out why although she has a fuzzy memory of eating cake directly out of the pan at 1 a.m. in the morning

5) There's a cat she doesn't recognize sitting on her bed looking at her

6) There's a man she doesn't recognize sitting on her bed looking at her (Oh, wait, that's her husband!)

7) Her bangs are down to her chin

8) She locks all of her keys in the trunk of her car and doesn't care, even though the trunk latch inside the car doesn't work either

9) Bright sunlight makes her scream, "My eyes! My eyes!"

10) She had time to write this blog

Teresa Sings, "A Kiss is Still a Kiss"

We've talked about a lot of firsts lately--the first time we found out the truth about Santa Claus, the first time we learned about the rather awkward mechanics of sex, our first date. So today I thought it would be fun to talk about our very first kiss.

I'll never forget mine. I was 14 and on my first official date. We were sitting in the bleachers at a junior high football game when he leaned toward me, his puppy dog brown eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Mine dutifully fluttered shut as his mouth descended on mine. My heart pounded, my toes began to curl and I was immediately swept away by the thought..."Ew! This is disgusting!"

People often ask how much of our fiction is drawn from real life and I have to admit that when I had Emily Claire describe her first kiss to the hero in ONCE AN ANGEL by saying, "The boy had a tongue like a worm," I was definitely strolling down memory lane. I hadn't been so repulsed since I first heard about the whole hot dog/bun theory of sex.

Fortunately for me, another date and a different boy taught me what all the fuss was about. I've never believed in indiscriminate sex but I was an indiscriminate kisser. Long before the days of SEX AND THE CITY, my best friend and I kept a log of all the boys we kissed along with ratings from 1-10. Near the top of mine at a solid 9 3/4 were the Rickard brothers--our local version of Bo and Luke Duke. Yes, I'm embarrassed to confess that I kissed both of them. (But not at the same time!) I truly hit my stride one New Year's Eve at sixteen when I kissed 5 boys. I was quite impressed by my tally until I found out my friend had kissed 10! (My list topped out at 25 while hers soared to 50. Not bad for a couple of "good girls" who always made the honor roll, eh? And I certainly hope this is serving as a cautionary tale for all of you with pre-tweens not to let your daughters date until they turn 16!)

Being no fool, I had the good sense to marry the first perfect 10 that I kissed. He was a little miffed when he found out about my list and our rating system, but I quickly reminded him of the only thing that mattered--His would be the last name on my list!

When Good Celebrities Have Bad Plastic Surgery

We all have our little guilty pleasures--never missing an episode of our favorite soap, keeping a bag of dark chocolate Hershey's Kisses stashed in our desk drawer, visiting www.awfulplasticsurgery.com at least once a week.
If you haven't visited this site before, it explains baffling mysteries of the universe such as:

Why is Melanie Griffith's formerly svelte upper lip now the size of a Michelin tire?
What are those Frankenstein-like scars Tara Reid reveals every time she "accidentally" flashes the paparazzi?

Why did Sandra Bullock's lovely face have no expression in TWO WEEK'S NOTICE?

And the most haunting question of all--Why does the formerly gorgeous Priscilla Presley now look like Jack Nicholson in BATMAN? Has she been visiting her former son-in-law Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon?

One quick visit to the site should be all it takes to convince you to grow old gracefully, preferably with your own lips, breasts and other assorted body parts. And for those of you who prefer to ascribe to the current theory that 50 is the new 30, it should hearten you to know that Frances Bavier (Aunt Bee) was in her late 40's when ANDY GRIFFITH began filming--the exact same age Sheryl Crowe is now. (And if you've seen Sheryl Crowe lately, you'll know why that's encouraging.)

My personal role model for aging gracefully is Annette Bening. When we saw OPEN RANGE back in '03, my husband kept gushing about how beautiful she was. Her face was soft, luminous, full of expression...and more than a few wrinkles. She obviously hadn't had any "work" done and had blessedly remembered that one needs an expression to act. Not since he married me have I been so impressed with my husband's excellent taste in women!

According to www.awfulplasticsurgery.com, young celebrities are just as likely to fall beneath the surgeon's knife. Shows like THE SWAN and EXTREME MAKEOVER (past guilty pleasures for some of you, I'm sure) only reinforced the destructive notion that there is only one standard for beauty. What's really sad is that while some of the contestants really did benefit from corrective dental surgery, all most of these women needed were a few fashion and make-up tips from our Lisa.

Personally, I've spent hours staring at Sarah Jessica Parker's face, trying to figure out why it's considered attractive, yet wildly grateful that it is. Sarah is a lot like Barbra Streisand and Cher were in my youth. They gave me hope because if they could be considered beautiful, then maybe I (with my oversized nose and frizzy hair) could too. To this day, I'd rather look like Barbra than Barbie.

So now you know my guilty secret and my guilty pleasure. If you're more virtuous than me, you can always visit www.goodplasticsurgery.com. Some of the most heavily featured celebrities on that site include Demi Moore, Chelsea Clinton, Teri Hatcher and...Sarah Jessica Parker.

Teresa Receives a Very Special Gift

I have received some of the absolute coolest gifts from readers but I recently got something REALLY unique. Lyndsey Lewellen has been a fan for a long time and we had the pleasure of meeting at the Dallas RWA conference. She's an excellent artist and it turned out that AFTER MIDNIGHT inspired her to do this piece of fan art representing secondary characters Portia and Julian, who will be featured in the sequel to AFTER MIDNIGHT (coming September 2006). You can click on the pic if you want to see it in greater detail. My husband (who devours comics and graphic novels) was SO impressed. Now he thinks I've REALLY arrived!

Let's Talk About S*X...

We've already answered that eternal question, "When did you first learn the truth about Santa Claus?" so I've got another one for you today--"When did you first learn about the 'mechanics' of sex?" I know your mom is supposed to have "the talk" with you at some point in your life but I'm still waiting. I had to learn about the ancient mystery of love in the 5th grade from the same obnoxious, pre-Goth, know-it-all girl who probably told me about Santa Claus. She gathered her wide-eyed audience around her in the lunchroom and proceeded to tell us all in graphic detail just exactly how the boy puts the baby into the girl. (Well, if you consider "graphic detail" being explained in terms of a hot dog and a bun.)

Needless to say, I was both horrified and disgusted. There was no way I was ever going to let any boy put THAT...THERE. After much soul searching, I decided there was only one option left to me. I would simply have to become a nun and commit myself to a life of celibacy. (I had recently read A NUN'S STORY and had found Sally Field irresistibly perky in THE FLYING NUN.) There was only one problem with that plan. I wasn't Catholic. Back to the drawing board. After more winnowing of my tormented soul, I decided that no boy would ever do something so disgusting to me--except Donny Osmond. Only for my darling Donny would I sacrifice myself to the ultimate degradation!

Fortunately for my future husband (and Donny), I discovered Kathleen Woodiwiss and Johanna Lindsay when I was fifteen and decided I might need to reconsider this whole hot dog/bun thing.

So how did you first learn about the mechanics of love? Health class? Gym class? Some precocious little snot on the playground? Or did your mom actually sit you down and gently explain the miracle of human procreation using anatomically correct terms like "wee-wee" and "Mrs. Muffin"?

And I have to add 2 disclaimers here: 1) We don't need to hear how you actually experienced the mechanics of love for the first time. This isn't THAT kind of blog. 2) If you haven't learned about the mechanics yet, then you're too young to be reading this blog and you need to get off-line before I call your mom

Teresa Never Could Resist Beauty and her Beast

If you don't mind your guys a trifle bit hairy, you've always found a little Alpha male chest thumping to be endearing, and morning breath isn't an issue, the new Kong just may be the guy for you!

The new movie version of KING KONG soars from the breathtaking imagination of director Peter Jackson. The same strengths Jackson showed in LORD OF THE RINGS are in dazzling display here. Although there are enough amazing CGI special effects to satisfy even the most jaded STAR WARS/STAR TREK geek (including me), he's never willing to sacrifice heart and intimacy for spectacle. While KONG is a sprawling rollercoaster thrill ride of a movie--the original KING KONG meets INDIANA JONES meets JURASSIC PARK--it's Naomi Watts luminous portrayal of Ann Darrow that steals our hearts (and Kong's). An incurable romantic at heart, I actually turned to my husband after the movie and said, "I wish they'd have shown more scenes developing their relationship" before remembering that I was talking about a woman and a giant gorilla.

It occurred to me as I watched the movie that this Kong has a lot in common with the heroes of our novels:

1) He adores Ann and finds her antics endlessly amusing.
2) He's so attentive he can recognize her by her smell alone
3) He rejects every other woman once they meet (hurling them out of his path like rag dolls)
3) He's keenly jealous of every other man in her life (hurling them out of his path like rag dolls)
4) He'd do anything to protect her, including sacrifice his own life.

What's not to love?

Teresa Plays Fairy Godmother to CINDERELLA MAN

I'm sure my friends would be utterly shocked that I'd pick Russell Crowe's latest film as my DVD Pick of the Week. I've shown months of restraint by not posting a single Russell Crowe pic since the perp walk pic where Lisa Kleypas and I were seen leading him away in handcuffs to be disciplined for being a bad boy. Oh, wait, that was the NYPD leading him away, wasn't it? (But if you'd like, you can pretend that Lisa and I have had him chained in our dungeon basement ever since then. I know we like to pretend that. Hey, Lisa, isn't it your turn to flog him this week?)

But I digress. CINDERELLA MAN hits DVD on Tuesday December 6th and I highly recommend it! Most people missed it in the theaters because 1) it was an Oscar-contender movie released during the summer blockbuster season and 2) it's set during the Depression and the previews made it look...well...depressing.

Instead, it's a transcendant portrait of one man beating the odds. It's also a tender love story with Renee Zellwegger playing Jim Braddock's devoted wife May. Both Russell and Paul Giamatti (SIDEWAYS, AMERICAN SPLENDOR) give Oscar-worthy performances and the climax was so thrilling that I found myself just as much on the edge of my seat the SECOND time I saw it in the theaters. I know a lot of women don't like boxing films but this one is much more of a ROCKY than a RAGING BULL and it will leave you cheering at the end just like ROCKY did. I strongly recommend this as a DVD buy or a rental and it would make a fabulous Christmas present for that special man (or parent or grandparent) in your life.

I know the pickings were lean this year, but if I had to rank the Top 3 Movies of the Year (I STILL haven't had a chance to see HARRY POTTER yet but am FINALLY going Thursday night!), I would have to rank them as 1) CRASH 2) CINDERELLA MAN 3) PRIDE AND PREJUDICE.

Teresa Remembers a Devoted Reader

We often tell you how much our readers mean to us and I was reminded of that all over again when I found this note from a couple of years ago in my files:

The e-mail I received this morning was simple. "I just want to tell you that my dear sister died today and to thank you for being such a friend to her." I first heard from Lourdes Goulart through snail mail. She was a young woman from the Azores living in America at the time and wanted to know if my name was Portuguese. She sent me an e-mail the following year to let me know that she was suffering from cancer that had originated in her breast and spread to her spine. She had returned to the Azores because medical care there was free. I sent her one of my autographed books, then rounded up several other books from my generous friends.

Shortly after that I received a beautiful cross-stitch of a windmill she could see from the window of her hospital room. Lourdes apologized for its quality because the chemo was weakening her eyesight. I thought it was beautiful. We exchanged e-mails and books several times after that. Her e-mails were always bright, witty, and filled with humor and humanity despite the suffering she was enduring. I couldn't begin to imagine what it must be like to have bits of your teeth break off with each meal or to have the cutest orderly at the hospital catch you with your pants around your ankles when you collapsed in the bathroom of your hospital room because you were too weak to sit on the commode. She told me how she'd fled from the dentist in her wheelchair after he told her he would need to pull all of her teeth because the mental image of herself--fat and swollen with no hair or teeth was just too much to take in.

She fantasized about American food (especially Mexican and Chinese :)) and talked about how hungry the steroids made you, how you just kept stuffing yourself, imagining the calorie count, and at the same time contemplating eating your mother's fingers if they got too close to your plate.

She started my most recent book the day before she entered the hospital for the last time. She didn't want to read past the first page because she didn't like to be interrupted once she started on a good book. She left me with this bit of wisdom: "Sometimes the best you can hope for is to survive today and have something to eat tomorrow."

Go with God, Lourdes, and I hope He was waiting to greet you with a romance novel in one hand and a fat Mexican burrito in the other.

Teresa Ponders an Embarrassment of Riches and Romance at the Movies

It's so rare to find a satisfying romance at the movies that I nearly dissolved into raptures of delight to discover not one but two of them this weekend! On Friday I had the distinct pleasure of going to see the new theatrical version of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE with Keira Knightly and Matthew MacFadyen. To be honest, I was prepared to be disappointed. I had seen the rather murky looking trailer that made even the gorgeous Keira Knightly look washed-out and blotchy. Plus as we all know, every version of P & P must now be compared to that platinum standard of the 1995 BBC mini-series with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle.

But I found the new movie to be thoroughly delightful and exhilarating! At just a little over 2 hours long, it couldn't cover quite as much ground as the mini-series (Wickham and the two younger sisters had very minor roles), but it beautifully captured the romance and robust good humor of Austen's story. I was caught off guard by several laugh-out-loud moments. Keira Knightly embodied Elizabeth Bennet's intelligence and wit. (Her portrayal also reminded me a little of Jo March in LITTLE WOMEN.) One glimpse of her smile and you knew why Darcy's heart was captivated. MacFadyen as Mr. Darcy won me over in the moment when I realized his voice had the exact same timbre as Alan Rickman's. The murkier cinematography actually ended up making the movie seem more vital and historically accurate. The gritty images of daily life are contrasted with breathtaking shots of the English countryside, including one of Mr. Darcy striding out of the mist that almost rivals Colin Firth's rising up out of Pemberly's pond on the female gasp of appreciation scale. (Yes, this is an actual scientific device. I have one in my office.)

Next up is the rather luscious and dangerous Joaquin Phoenix channeling Johnny Cash in WALK THE LINE. At the literal heart of the movie is Cash's longstanding and long-unrequited love for June Carter (the ever ebullient Reese Witherspoon finally being allowed to put her Nashville accent to good use) and the trials and travails he must suffer before finally settling down with the love of his life. From the foot-stomping power of the very first scene, music is the thread that binds these two restless hearts and what makes the movie even more remarkable is that Phoenix and Witherspoon did all of their own singing!

If you're looking for a taste of romance this Thanksgiving, I wholeheartedly recommend these 2 movies!

Nine Things Teresa Loves About Her Job

1) Getting woken up by a cat instead of an alarm clock

2) The freedom to exhibit lunatic behaviors without getting carted away to the nearest mental hospital like a) waltzing in one's office with invisible partner b) talking to one's self like a schizophrenic while practicing dialogue on daily neighborhood walk c) making out with a large stuffed pink pig while blocking out love scenes (Let's see--if the hero's paw was here, then where would the heroine's snout be?)

3) Falling in love with a sexy, gorgeous new man every year and having one's husband not mind as long as those royalty checks keep coming

4) Having 350 pics of Russell Crowe on one's screensaver and assuring husband it's "research"

5) Having office decorated with Fairy Tale Barbies, Beauty and the Beast memorabilia and talking replica of Captain Jack Sparrow from PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

6) Talking to your talking replica of Captain Jack Sparrow as he mumbles sweet nothings in your ear

7) Buying all of the romances you want and assuring IRS it's "research"

8) The ability to zone out during boring conversations with excuse of "Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking about the next plot twist in my book."

9) Watching repeated viewings of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE with Colin Firth and assuring editor waiting for late manuscript that it's "research"

Romance is Back and So is Zorro!

What woman can resist a mysterious masked man with a delicious accent and a horse that can rear up on command just in time for a photo op against the setting sun? Zorro is one Latin lover who has been charming the ladies for decades. Who better to portray him in THE LEGEND OF ZORRO than the luscious Antonio Banderas, reprising his role from 1998's THE MASK OF ZORRO. For those of you who remember that film, Banderas was something of an anti-hero in that movie--a wisecracking ne'er do well recruited by Anthony Hopkins to don the infamous mask, defend the common man, and win the heart of Hopkins' winsome long-lost daughter Elena.

In LEGEND, ten years have passed and Alejandro/Zorro is still married to his beloved Elena and is the doting papa of little Joaquin, a precocious budding Mini-Zorro. Taking a cue from SHREK II, the screenwriters amped up the romance in the movie by driving a wedge between Zorro and Elena at the very beginning of the movie. This sets the stage for several humorous and passionate encounters worthy of any historical romance with a feuding hero and heroine destined to end up in each others' arms.

I'm happy to report that Antonio is still hot and even after bearing 2 of Michael Douglas's children, Catherine Zeta-Jones is still so beautiful it hurts your eyes to look at her. (And after seeing her in those gorgeous 1850's period costumes, I'm convinced she's the only actress working today who could actually do the role of Scarlett O'Hara justice.)

If you're a sucker for an old-fashioned swashbuckler with delightful touches of humor and a sexy undercurrent of romance, I highly recommend you grab the family and take in THE LEGEND OF ZORRO. (Although there is a little violence, I think I can recommend it for most ages. There was a little boy behind us who was plainly delighted by the entire movie, especially little Mini-Zorro.)

Teresa Falls in Love for the Very First Time

A couple of weeks ago, Eloisa James and I were talking about the books that made us cry. That got me to thinking about all of the books that made me fall in love for the first time. I'm talking about the children's/young adult books that weren't necessarily considered romance, but started a lifelong love affair with the genre.

One of my favorites was Elizabeth George Speare's Newberry Award winning book THE WITCH OF BLACKBIRD POND. I read it so many times that to this day I can still see echoes of Speare's writing style in my own work. I've never forgotten courageous Kit Tyler and Nathaniel Eaton, the handsome captain's son who ends up rescuing her from the small-minded villagers who believe she's a witch. (And yes, Eloisa has mentioned this book before because it's one of her favorites too!)

Another of my first loves was Alamanzo Wilder from Laura Ingalls Wilder's LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE series. (Not the blond, banal Alamanzo from the TV show, but the dark and slightly more dangerous Alamanzo from the books.) When Laura became a teacher, it was Alamanzo who would drive her through the snowdrifts to the schoolhouse each day. He was the strong, silent type, but you could almost feel the romantic tension vibrating between them.

I still remember Gwen Bristow's CALICO PALACE and those other wonderful westerns where the wagon trains were heading west and romance and adventure were always waiting along the trail. Ditto WILDERNESS BRIDE by Annabel and Edgar Johnson where 15-year-old Corey finds herself betrothed to a brooding stranger. And wasn't there even a definite hint of romantic tension between Meg Murry and Calvin O'Keefe in A WRINKLE IN TIME by Madeline L'Engle? Eloise Jarvis McGraw's MARA DAUGHTER OF THE NILE was one of the first books I read where the hero and heroine were at odds, which was wildly sexy (although I may not have recognized that breathless feeling at the time :)) Patty Bergen and her doomed love Anton Reiker in Bette Greene's SUMMER OF MY GERMAN SOLDIER still haunt me to this day.

Teresa Faces Her Worst Nightmare

Just last week Eloisa James and I discussed all of the dreaded conference neuroses that we suffer. And ironically enough, during a business trip to a Books-A-Million seminar in Birmingham, Alabama this very week, I had to face MY very worst traveling nightmare. Was it a terrorist threat? Sitting next to someone on the plane with SARS? A bird with red eyes and a runny nose perched on my hotel window ledge?


Alas, it was worse than that! Only an hour before I was supposed to go downstairs to meet and greet my adoring public, I discovered I had forgotten to pack...MY MAKE-UP!!! (That howl of anguish you just heard came from Lisa Kleypas.) I am usually very careful about this. I may not always carry extra underwear but there are 2 items I always pack in my carry-on in case my checked luggage is lost—my speech and my make-up. This time I carried on ALL of my luggage, but failed to pack the make-up. (At least my husband could have FAXED me a speech!)

Given that I'd had this very nightmare numerous times, one would have thought immediate hysteria would ensue. After all, I am at the age where I need foundation to cover both wrinkles and zits. And since I'm having a bad hair life, it makes me feel a little better if I can pretty up my face. But instead of falling apart, an eerie calm descended over me. I rummaged through my purse to discover a lone tube of lipstick, then quickly dressed and went down to the hotel gift shop to discover that the only make-up they carried was a lone tube of lipstick.

Still feeling weirdly calm, I went back to my room with only 30 minutes to go before I was due at the signing. Without mascara or eyeliner, I have the eyes of an albino rabbit. Deciding it was more important to look good than to avoid permanent blindness, I attempted to use the hotel ink pen as an eyeliner. It didn't work very well. Those things just weren't designed to draw on skin. I eyed the lone tube of lipstick, knowing what I had to do. Taking it into my trembling hand, I proceeded to smudge lipstick on my eyelids, my cheeks, and oh, yes...my lips.

Then I gazed into the mirror and prayed that the Lord would let my inner beauty shine through. (Those howls of laughter you just heard came from Connie Brockway and Christina Dodd.) Perhaps, if the Books-A-Million managers were gracious (and nearsighted) enough, I could skate by on nothing but dimples and charm. After all, don't hundreds of thousands of women leave the house every day without make-up? Why in certain intellectual circles (and at the national RWA conferences) the less make-up you wear, the more intelligent you're presumed to be! (That superior nod of agreement you heard was Eloisa's.) Just because my mama was a Maybelline queen who never left the house without full eyeliner, that didn't mean I had to be afraid to show my naked face to the world, did it?

So I marched boldly downstairs and after a few minutes of chatting with those charming people who obviously loved books just as much as I did, I did the unthinkable--I forgot about myself. My only moment of weakness came when I spotted the trio of black Sharpies the Books-A-Million folk had kindly left for me to sign the books. But I battled that temptation, knowing that if I tried to use a Sharpie as an eyeliner, I'd probably end up looking like Cleopatra or worse yet, an albino raccoon. (Plus I wasn't sure workmen's comp would cover putting your eye out with a Sharpie during an autograph signing.)

When I came home, I shared this sobering and life-altering experience with my fellow writers. Then I e-mailed them some pics. I'd barely hit SEND before a REPLY from Christina came bouncing back. "Ya know, Terri," she wrote, "You don't look so bad without make-up." Unfortunately, the picture I'd sent was from a signing the week before when I WAS wearing full make-up. Ya know, with friends like these...

Teresa Exposes the Glamorous Life of the Romance Author

So I've just changed both of my litter boxes and gotten them all tidy and fresh smelling. I come home from church Sunday night to discover my geriatric cat Queennie has um...made use...of one of the the litter boxes. Alas, she has also somewhat...um...halfway missed the target. So I decide to scoop up said mess with a Kleenex and flush it down the commode. But I've barely started down the hallway when I drop the Kleenex and um...make a tremendous mess.

So I'm frantically cleaning up before my husband can come downstairs and discover what a doofus I've been. I eliminate the mess and rush into the kitchen for a can of Lysol. I'm spraying the Lysol everywhere when I suddenly realize that I've accidentally grabbed the can of Lemon Pledge.

So I go running back to the kitchen for a paper towel to clean up the floor. But I'm wearing only socks and the floor is now as slippery as an ice rink. So I fall down. Hard. My husband returns to find me lying on the floor, laughing so hard I can't get up while the cats gaze at me in perplexed silence.

I'm so glad he loves the Three Stooges!

I Want to Get LOST on This Island!

I know I told you guys that I'd missed out on LOST's first season. But I finally went out and bought Season One on DVD. I've only watched the first 5 episodes and I'm totally captivated! And ya know, I thought you guys were watching it for its spiritual symbolism, its stimulating intellectual qualities, the gorgeous cinematography or even the heart-pounding adventures of these poor castaways stranded on a tropical island with the bloodthirsty Bumble from RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER.

But after watching a few episodes, I realize it's THE MEN!!! Holy cow! There's noble doc Jack (Matthew Fox), adorable Charlie (Dominic Monaghan from LORD OF THE RINGS. I always did have a weakness for hobbits) , the sensitive Boone (Ian Somerhalder), the gorgeous Sayid (Naveen Andrews pictured to the left) and my, oh my, don't even get me started on Bad Boy Sawyer with his dimples and his drawl (Josh Holloway)! He would make a perfectly yummy Billy Darling in my book NOBODY'S DARLING.

Teresa Crashes into Reality

Our editors can give us many gifts and this year my editor, Carrie Feron, introduced me to what I believe is the Best Movie of the Year. (And yes, CINDERELLA MAN is #2 on my list.) I had barely walked into the Reno hotel where our national conference was being held when she told me, "I watched CRASH last night in my room. You HAVE to see it!" Okey-dokey. Usually my hotel viewing habits trend more toward light romantic comedies starring Hugh Jackman, but since her recommendation was so passionate (and she WAS my wise and brilliant editor), I decided to give CRASH a spin.

Let me start off by saying that CRASH is a deeply thoughtful and unflinching exploration of race relations in our country that will challenge your every preconception and misconception about skin color and culture. Wow, that sounds ponderous, doesn't it? So let me add that it is also a rip-roaring great movie about several lives in L.A. intersecting until each of their story threads weaves a moving and cohesive tapestry.

I laughed out loud at some of the dialogue, especially the lines spouted by rapper Ludacris and his erstwhile companion. I sobbed aloud during some of the scenes. And I was absolutely on the edge of my seat (or in this case, the edge of my bed) waiting to see what was going to happen next.

To me, the last is the greatest gift. How often do we watch a movie these days and honestly have NO idea what's going to happen next? We've almost lost our ability to be surprised because most directors don't even try anymore.

A lot of people missed this movie in the theaters but it's perfect for DVD viewing. I can promise you that you'll never look at some of these actors through the same eyes again: Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Brendan Fraser, Sandra Bullock, the gorgeous Terrence Howard, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillippe. (And in a totally surreal moment, even Tony Danza pops up!)

If you like a movie that makes you think as well as feel, give CRASH a chance.

Teresa says "Serenity Now!"

As some of you probably already know, Joss Whedon, the genius behind BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, did a short-lived TV "space western" called FIREFLY on Fox in 2002. The network pulled the show after only 11 episodes (obviously taking a cue from the Mensa candidates over at the SciFi network who cancelled FARSCAPE). But the show had already spawned a loyal fan base who called themselves "Browncoats." They recruited more devotees when the entire series was recently released on DVD and it was their passionate campaigning that helped get Joss Whedon a greenlight to bring his ragtag crew of space explorers to the big screen in SERENITY.

I havn't yet seen a single episode of FIREFLY (although I plan to order the DVD's this morning) but I saw SERENITY last night and I have to confess that I liked it better than all 3 of the most recent STAR WARS movies combined. Captain Mal Reynolds seems to be a combination of Captain Kirk, Han Solo, and that wisecracking pilot from your last Southwest flight. (Ya gotta love a captain who picks up the mic and announces, "We may experience some slight turbulence...and explode" and a crew member that whines back at him, "But I don't WANT to explode!") His crew members all had distinct personalities and you truly believed that they were as devoted to each other as they were to their battle-scarred ship. The movie had the best futuristic dialogue I've heard since MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME. The music worked for me, the visuals worked, and all of those thrilling episodes of derring do were deftly mixed with the wonderful touches of humor and humanity that are Joss Whedon's trademark as a writer.

If you enjoy space opera, if you enjoy a good western, if you simply enjoy interesting characters doing interesting things while tossing off genuinely amusing wisecracks, then you should probably find some SERENITY now!