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    Sunday, July 12, 2009

    TERESA TWEETS HER FAVORITE RWA SURVIVAL TIPS

    1) Avoid authors who are screaming, "LOOK AT ME!" and find someone interesting in the corner to talk to. (I discovered Shane Abe this way.)

    2) If author seems unfriendly, give her benefit of doubt. She may be a) shy b) tired c) distracted d) deprived of warm/fuzzy gene at birth or e) utterly devoid of social skills.

    3) Bars are a great place to meet authors and editors. Order yourself a club soda and lime and go cruising!

    4) Don't drink too much at RWA. Some authors are scary sober. Drunk they can be truly terrifying.

    5) Editors are people too and some of them are shyer than you are. If you're pitching a project, just relax and act natural.

    6) You'll know you've finally made it when editors start following YOU into the bathroom.

    7) Practice your editor/agent pitch as if you were pitching to Simon Cowell.

    8) Pantyhose are OUT. But if you have a complexion like Gollum (or me), pack them anyway.

    9) Yes, you ARE back in high school for 4 days. But now you have the confidence and social skills to thrive!

    10) When in a crowd of milling writers, it's easy to hide exactly who pushed who down the escalator.

    11) Allow time for at least 1 crying jag in hotel room. (Even more important for male attendees.)

    12) Leave hubby and kiddies at home. Slow motion pillow fights with roommates much more fun that way.

    13) Leave hotel every chance you get. Enjoy sunshine, fresh air, and people who don't care if they ever get published

    14) Always put on lipstick before you leave hotel room. Even if it's a fire drill. Even if it's a fire.

    15) If you want everyone to think you're an editor or agent, wear a lot of black but no name tag.

    16) Never talk about author/editor/publisher in bathroom. Odds of them being in next stall: 100%.


    17) Don't worry if U come out of bathroom with skirt tucked in panties. There are 2000 women 2 help. Or take pic.

    18) If U don't recognize somebody U should, tell them U left glasses in your room. Even if U don't wear glasses.

    19) Beg, borrow or steal an invitation to the Harlequin party and be prepared to boogie the night away.

    20) If an editor asks you to step outside for a smoke, go with her. It's never too late to start smoking!

    21) Always pack speech & make-up in carry-on bag. You can do w/o clothes if you have to.

    22) Nobody is really looking at YOUR 1) clothes 2) hair 3) fake nails because they're 2 busy looking at their own.

    23) An enormous chocolate sundae goes a long way toward softening grief of not winning RITA or Golden Heart.

    24) If your luncheon tablemate has this look in her eye...change tables.


    14 comments:

    J Perry Stone said...

    This is so hilarious. I want to retweet the whole thing.


    Stinking 140 characters!

    Teresa Medeiros said...

    If only we had 14,000 characters instead!

    TAMARA said...

    ROTFLMAO!!!!

    TS Tate said...

    These are hilarious. Thanks for the giggle. :P

    Vanessa Kelly said...

    That last tip is really a lifesaver! I swear I sat next to someone like that at the last RWA, and I barely made it out alive.

    Carol Burnside said...

    I love it!

    Tona said...

    I love it! And this could apply to so many other situations in life. The best part is that it's all true and funny, I laughed here from beginning to end LOL
    You are a wise woman Teresa :)

    Cathie Linz said...

    ROFLMAO - makes me feel like I really am attending RWA this year when I'm not

    Shana Abe' said...

    LOL!! That was awesome! (Are you sure I wasn't one of the drunk authors??)

    Connie said...

    Teresa, you are so funny! My advice to you would be to simply dazzle everyone you see with your gorgeous smile and dimples and they will fall at your feet! Have fun!

    Connie Fischer
    conniecape@aol.com

    Julee J. Adams said...

    Thanks for re-posting and have a super time this year! Maybe next year....

    Diane D - Florida said...

    Thank you for giving me a good laugh Teresa. Have a fun time with all the other girls at the RWA. I'm so jealous....

    fsbuchler said...

    I just love this, and needed it, too; thank you Teresa! I am going to be in NYC from June 30th through July 3rd. I'll be too late for the Literacy signing on the 28th. Are there any other events open to the public during the time I will be there? Finally, may I treat you to an early breakfast or quick coffee on the morning of Friday June 1st? Just a little thank you for all the humor and RWA advice

    Flora

    Saranna DeWylde said...

    This is my first convention, so thanks for the tips. I'm excited, but not nervous at all. Which is probably bad. They don't usually let me out by myself. LOL.