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    Wednesday, October 11, 2006

    Teresa Whispers, "I've Got A Secret"

    I was recently thinking about the charms and the intricacies of female friendship. I know that most men view us as gossipy, chatty creatures. We can become lifelong friends with another woman while standing in the grocery line for fifteen minutes while men can be "best friends" for twenty years and not know any more about each other than the number of cylinders in their engines or their favorite football teams. It's no accident of nature that the average man speaks around 12,000 words a day while the average woman speaks 24,000. By the time a man comes home from a day of work, he's probably already used up his daily quota of words. (Ever ask "How was your day, honey?" only to have him reply, "Fine"?) Let's face it--if women didn't talk to each other, we'd have no one to talk to!

    Contrary to what most men think, we're not swapping gossip; we're building relationships. Information is the currency women use to buy intimacy with each other. The secrets we share about ourselves (and yes, occasionally others) is the glue that binds us together. In some ways, we're still those little girls whispering to each other in the dark at the slumber party. Everyone knows that the best secrets (our deepest wishes, our darkest fears, which boy we adored the most) were always shared after the lights went out. Some of my most rewarding friendships have begun with the words, "I know I shouldn't be telling you this but..." It's all a matter of building trust. If I can share the worst thing I ever did and trust that you still love me, then I'll know I've found a friend for life.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go call one of my friends so I can begin the conversation with, "I know I shouldn't be telling you this but..."