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    Sunday, September 18, 2005

    15 Things You Never Think You'll Do Until You Go On a Booktour

    1. Eat a large ribeye steak in bed at 10 PM

    2. Watch an episode of MY FAIR BRADY on VH1. (Yes, this is the new reality show starring 47-year-old Christopher Knight, a.k.a. Peter Brady, and his 22-year-old love Adrianne Curry, who went directly from winning the title of America's Next Top Model to guesting on Surreal Life 4 where she met and fell in love with the former child star.)

    3. Watch "Peter Brady" wearing nothing but boxer shorts being paddled by his 22-year-old lover while he yells, "Thank you, Bubble Queen! May I have another?"

    4. Try to jab out your eyes with the complimentary hotel pen

    5. Spend an hour at a Sharper Image store trying out every gadget and massage chair in the store

    6. Get both feet caught in a Sharper Image foot massager and briefly panic

    7. Drink 2 Chocolixir dark chocolate milkshakes from the Godiva store in one day

    8. Stay up all night because you've had too much chocolate

    9. Call your husband weeping hysterically because they sent home one of your favorite contestants on ROCK STAR: INXS

    10. Learn how to play Spider Solitaire on your computer

    11. Play Spider Solitaire on your computer until your hand curls into a spider-like claw

    12. Accidentally get cherry crush toenail polish on lovely hotel duvet and try to wash it off with nail polish remover, which only succeeds in smearing stain until it resembles something on CSI

    13. Turn duvet over to try and hide stain

    14. Get lost on second floor of hotel while looking for ice machine and suddenly realize the long deserted hallways bear a striking resemblance to the Overlook Hotel in THE SHINING

    15. Fall madly and passionately in love with each reader who took time out of her own busy schedule to attend signings in Louisville and Charlotte, including these lovely ladies in the pic above from the Louisville Romance Writers AND my very dear friend, Elizabeth Bevarly, who picked me up at the Louisville airport, ate dinner with me and acted as my official driver for the duration of the evening. Wuv you, Liz!!!